Don’t sweat the small stuff it all small stuff.
Each of us is aware of the situation where everyone around us is furious, starting in the morning: no sugar bowl was found in the usual place, coffee was poured over a cup, we got stuck in traffic in the morning … and that’s just the beginning of the day, not to mention the nervous losses. Besides, the irritation doesn’t decrease; on the contrary, you start to notice that every little thing drives you out of balance. The situation is normal, but to say that it is the norm is wrong. We have to figure this out.
Causes of irritation
Very often, when the nervous system is overloaded, we start to perceive every detail sharply: there is a lot of work that cannot be done in time. Are you overwhelmed both at work and home, or are you tired of the hustle and bustle before an event? In other words, increased stress leads to nervous exhaustion. And no matter how you convince yourself, returning to a peaceful state is difficult. The best option is to let everything go. If this is not possible (which happens most often), you need to schedule your activities to have a “window” for rest. Otherwise, there will be a complete neurological breakdown, and unfortunately, you will not be able to do without a doctor. Yes, unfortunately, a workaholic is harmful.
There are situations in our lives that we cannot change, such as parental divorce, loss of property, etc., that severely undermine our vitality. In this case, the accumulated internal experience, suffering, tension causes aggression for any reason.
If you realize that you have power under certain circumstances, remember it every time, or try to be disgusted with the cashier in the supermarket if he asks you not to put the basket in front of the cashier as soon as it is your turn. Knowing the source will help you cool down a bit.
When it comes to controlling emotions, this is not quite the right move because by not allowing aggression to squirt out, you drive it into the subconscious, and from there, it can negatively affect your body’s condition. You need to get rid of the accumulated negativity, just not through conflicts with your loved ones, but better through the gym, walking in the park, through any physical activity.
Irritation should not be equated with emotion at the time it occurs. Because if you submit to provocation, you cannot separate yourself from anger, rage, and anger even to the wrong stimulus. However, if you start to watch what is happening as if you are apart and aggression yourself from the outside, the whole point is that there can be no such reaction without your direct involvement. It disappears immediately in the absence of charging.
Avoid prolonged contact with people who make you nervous. If possible, avoid contact with them, do not react to their provocations, and you could think about changing jobs at all. Because the constant nerve tension catalyst doesn’t do you any good, especially if you have to keep your dissatisfaction in check all the time, do not bring the situation to a catastrophic end. Believe me, nothing happens with an irritant effect, but you let it bother you for health reasons. Think about what is more important to you: money, or curbing daily internal protest, or health.
I was personally helped by a single sentence very much, “Who are you so you can get angry.” If you can’t answer it in the first ten seconds, then you don’t have the right to get angry; it’s that easy.
And in general, why am I? It happens that you woke up in a good mood in the morning, there are many plans, the desire to implement them is even greater, and then, as ordered, it started! The children are hysterical, the man can’t find socks, everyone pulls you from all sides, and they want something from you, something is lost, something breaks, and everything around you is nervous. The desire to learn, the desire to do something for oneself, for one’s loved one, disappears immediately, and the desire to shout at everyone first arises and then to feel sorry for oneself and lie on the couch.
Every person has many reasons for nervousness and anger every day. Some are angry with themselves: you see you slept again, they didn’t have time, they lost something, they didn’t do what they needed in time, they didn’t work. Others blame others for their failures and blame others.
The former is likely to constantly incessant and suffer, and the latter is confident in their infallibility. But for both, anger prevents them from adequately assessing the situation and making the right decision. Besides, hateful words are usually said in anger, words that are later regretted. And the culmination of a violent quarrel is an attack that is far from always possible: the relationship breaks down.
What if you’re angry enough to explode? If it seems that the only way out is to let off steam: to express immediately everything that is boiling in your soul? Those who do so are referring to psychologists who say driving emotions inward, rather than allowing them to escape, is the path to many illnesses, including heart attack and stroke.
How can you prevent yourself from becoming a bitter creature?
Understanding the cause
Anger does not come from anywhere; it certainly has a reason. We listen and honestly confess what triggered that emotion. Maybe we will stop finding anger and start solving the problem that made us nervous?
For example, a colleague annoys and angers us, we stick to him with every little thing, and we hardly restrain ourselves so as not to be rude.
We are angry that my husband did not comply with our request, and it was easier to remind him.
So we learn to think more and more with emotions.
We count to a hundred
or until we calm down. This is an old, proven method that few uses, while others are too common. It would help if you counted by inhaling slowly, deeply. Some are in a hurry to stop counting so that there is still time to throw out the irritation and proclaim, “Stupidity, that’s your method.” We put ourselves in someone else’s place
We have the opportunity to imagine the consequences that await us when we make our claims in the wake of evil. What effect do our words have? How will our relationship be built in the future? Would we like to be talked to in that tone?
After all, we are not so naive as to think that our interlocutor will try to gain our support in response and “flag his tail” like a guilty dog. Even if our anger was somewhat justified and the aggression “What you sow, you reap,” “as the proverb says. Our adversary begins to defend himself – releases his claws and exposes the thorns. No one loves humiliation.
When we break down, we don’t get rid of negative emotions, and – we shift them to others. And there is no need to doubt – the answer will definitely come.
So let’s follow the advice: “If you can’t say anything good, you better keep quiet.”
Take a sober shower.
Of course, this choice is good at home; you can use a regular sink in other conditions: turn on the cold water and rinse the flushing face. If you are afraid that your makeup will suffer? Then put your hands under the cold water and rub your senses.
We are not a chronically evil people; we, like everyone else, have periods of exacerbation when we react particularly sharply to circumstances. Tired of work, we drive home, and there are several kilometers of traffic jams ahead. What are the benefits of getting angry and screwing yourself? After all, this will not solve the problem, but we will get home in such a stressful state that our family will not be happy, and everyone will scatter in their rooms to not get into conflict.
We use downtime to relax. We take out our favorite photo: there is a girl who smiles, or a man, or a child, or a favorite animal, and the back has a positive desire. And our anger goes away as if suddenly we can’t just get angry looking at a dear face.
Positive above all
The world is not just revolving around us, and we are not the only people with emotions. But do we like people with frowning and angry faces? Of course not. We try to stay away from them. They start behaving the same way we do when we grumble, resent, resent, and talk badly.
The world around us is for everyone, but overall it is neutral.
“Two people looked through one window. One saw rain and mud. The second – the foliage of green shoots, spring and blue sky. Two people looked through one window … “.
What do we choose – mud or spring, anger or joy? Of course, we want to live in harmony with ourselves, people, and the world, and not fight and hate. They say that “from constant anger, the heart hardens and the ray of light does not penetrate it … Good sprouts do not grow where there are darkness and darkness – there a person digs a grave for his Soul …”.
Breaking bad thoughts, tuning in to the positive is not easy, and here you have to be constantly strong and consistent. The result is worth it.
“Free your heart from anger, because hatred never destroys hatred with anger, but the absence of anger destroys it,” Buddhists teach.
Remember, the most powerful weapon is a smile in all cases.
A little more – and are you ready to burst into anger? Is it strong dissatisfaction with a particular activity of loved ones, or are you one step away from shouting – just like that, for no particular reason? Allow yourself and your loved ones to experience all the feelings, even the negative ones – they are also part of our personality and have a right to exist. But it is important to learn how to use them correctly – constructively and safely for others. However, each parent must rebuild their resources by doing things for adults or doing something exclusively for themselves – otherwise, the risk of psychological burnout increases. Allow yourself to be a “bad mother” sometimes: no one can always stay calm and optimistic; we are not robots!
How not to get upset about the little things
Seek medical attention and check your health. Irritability and resentment often cause various diseases, such as thyroid gland. Pay attention to your body and follow the usual rules: sleep at least 8 hours, spend more time outdoors, exercise regularly, eat more fruits and vegetables, and limit your alcohol consumption.
How to stop the little things after annoyance – think about whether everything in your life is right for you. Your irritability may be caused by dissatisfaction with your life or yourself or a conflict between your wishes and opportunities.
In this case, you will not overcome the irritability if you do not solve the main problem. You may need to see a psychologist or psychotherapist. Don’t be proud but set realistic goals for yourself.
Reading recommendation The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. An audio version is available on Youtube https://youtu.be/iH2BrZ5k7Dk.