How to build confidence and self-esteem.

How to build confidence and self-esteem.

That is something most of us, even occasionally, long for it. That is what we have been trying to create since we were children – sometimes, unfortunately, the result is the opposite – and the lack of which is one of the most common reasons we are unhappy.
It’s about self-confidence. If you’ve ever told yourself or others: I can’t do it, I don’t have the talent for it. I will never learn it. I can never (wealthy, intelligent, beautiful, fast, and leader fill the gap myself :-)). Or if you’ve done faced more straightforward choices, not to mention longer-lasting decisions like a goat between two haystacks, unable to make a decision. Confidence, or rather its lack or absence, is an issue.

The three biggest fears

By the way, all of us, at least the vast majority, have said these things to ourselves, are in good company. In these moments when you feel that your “heart is sinking into your ankle,” you are facing the greatest fear of three people (either one in three or all at once – the so-called perfect storm): Do I look silly? Am I still doing it right? and Am I still good enough? And sometimes, just a little doubt, a little devil on your shoulder, who scratches out one of these questions is enough. And you feel your blood pressure rise, your palms sweating, and your body and mind starting to get stiff.

Which certainly does not contribute to the growth of self-confidence


But a description of the troubles helps. So how to increase self-confidence? We will get there, but first of all, what is not to do done.

Please don’t read, or at least not take me seriously: “You can if you just try!” or “Self-confidence is a superpower. Once you start believing in yourself, powerful things will happen!”. They are full of Facebook. They do repeat in excellent and sometimes quite expensive pieces of training.

And they’re nice, sometimes they feel good. And these are also quite useless. Multiplying yourself in front of a mirror by how beautiful and intelligent, and capable you are will not help you grow in confidence in the long run. While this may cause a moment of well-being, you are likely to be attacked by dopamine, a substance that creates an expectation of pleasure. And then it’s a gray everyday life again, and the feeling of guilt creeps up that you can’t do it, etc. But what helps then?

Four kinds of confidence

There are four types of self-confidence: Simon Marshall and Paterson Lesley, authors of The Brave Athlete. And how to increase self-confidence depends a lot on what kind of place of self-confidence means broken. I’m talking loose.

It is good to imagine self-confidence as a tree. It has roots, it has a stem, it has a crown, and it has left. And the connection is similar – the tree starts at the roots, and the leaves still stand out best.

So, read the descriptions below and try to put your finger on the self-confidence (or, more specifically, the lack of it) when you say “I can’t” or “I can’t do it” or “it’s not for me.”

1. Self-influence
The belief that I can do a particular task or activity at a certain (reasonable) level. Maybe it’s related to a specific action. And in a way, less self-confidence is natural when you start doing something you’ve never done before. And it’s also the easiest of the types of confidence you can change – it changes according to your actions and the experience you gain from the action.

Improving empowerment
1. Achieving operational success
There is no better tool for empowerment than success. It consists of two parts, as the words suggest – action (that is, you do not increase your influence by thinking of yourself as a better salesperson or development interviewer). The second is a success (that is, the long-known truth that success increases self-confidence). Maybe once again: you have to do and succeed.

As a side note, it doesn’t work if you choose tasks that are too simple to succeed.(avoid failure). The effort is essential. How to find a balance? Experts say that a good job means that there is a 70-80% chance of success. For a smaller one, the “elephant” may seem too big, and for a larger one, the effort is not enough to feel satisfied with success. Another slight nuance – don’t limit yourself to one success – set goals in the style of 10 out of 5 I do, etc. Repetitions produce confidence.

2. Looking at the success of others

Strange as it may seem, watching the actions of others helps to increase self-efficacy. Maybe – maybe it’s a good idea to see how others do it before you start doing something new. It also gives you a different specific idea of how you are going to do it yourself.

2. Confidence

Your Belief in one’s own general ability in a particular field, in a specific subject, the crown of self-confidence can have both strong and weak branches. A person who has strong self-confidence as a salesperson may not have it at all as a leader. And vice versa. There can be no before-mentioned thing as general low or general high self-confidence. Then it is more a question of the root of the tree, i.e., self-esteem.

Improving self – confidence
It should be a combination of improving self-influence and changing self-esteem. If the problem is in style: I’m not a good leader because I can’t connect people to a common goal as a team, then possible corrective methods are specific activities (regular one-on-one conversations, sharing responsibilities in the group, etc.) and self-assessment activities. See below.

3. Self-esteem

General self-esteem does base on past life experience, in other words, an assessment of who I am – competent, businesslike, I keep promises, etc. (or vice versa – incompetent, superficial, I do not keep promises, etc.). And all this is primarily based on past life experience and the resulting idea of ​​oneself. The trick, of course, is that it is only our imagination that remains heavily influenced by perceptual errors. Among other things, because, as a rule, we are still looking for confirmation of what we think is accurate, and we tend to ignore other facts, opinions, feedback. By the way, one part of self-esteem that does often used too much is perhaps self-criticism, which becomes paralyzing. Maybe whipping myself – “I’m incompetent,” “I’m still stupid,” etc.

Improving self – esteem

1. Face your negative self-criticism


The first step, of course, is to understand that you are doing this – that you are often whipping yourself in vain and destructively. To fix something, you need to know what does broken. And how broken it is. So, every time you make an unfair criticism of yourself or others, put a note on paper or the phone saying, “Oops, I did it again!”. And write down what you tell yourself. Write down.

The next step. Psychologists say it is a subtle rewording. In reality, it is countering its negative nonsense. In other words: 1. Write down a maximum of 5 self-critical nonsense you say about yourself 2. Write an alternative interpretation behind each self-critical statement to help you see things in more positive notes.

For example, criticism: I can never make the right decision on how to go about my working life.

And then, to paraphrase: But I can make a decision that seems like a good decision at the moment and based on the available knowledge. And what is better than indecision. And I have to accept that I can’t (and no one can) predict the future accurately, so even the intensive search for the “best” decision is pointless; happiness lies in making a choice and making peace with my choice. If the option did not turn out to be the right one, in the long run, I could always reconsider – being richer in experience anyway.

2. Be consciously grateful
I know that sounds a little weird. But it works. Maybe write down what you do well. Everyday. Or every night. Three things. It helps to bring focus and attention to the positive, to what is valuable in your life. And which in turn increases your positive self-esteem that you too are valuable.

4. Self-esteem
Deeply hidden beliefs about oneself as a person are the beliefs planted in us in a large part of our childhood—parents in particular and teachers, coaches, and friendships.

How can we deal with setbacks, whether they are a natural part of life or, more or less, with every slightest knock? Whether people are generally trusted, the world is running out, whether life is a valley of distress or something worth living and enjoying. Whether I am worse because as a person, I don’t drive a Porche Cayenne or am stupid if I don’t have a double degree, and so on, endlessly. “It’s not for us,” I once heard a mother say to her 7-8-year-old daughter. We talked about a skateboard park where the superstars of the area competed, which did build in an old factory building and where you could train for a certain amount. After all, only the rich go there to do their strange hobbies; we don’t go there, we are “ordinary people,” the mother’s message to the child was for life.

Improving  confidence and self-esteem
The first and perhaps best advice is to seek help. Look for a professional to help you develop a methodology and process for changing a deep belief in yourself because it takes years rather than months and can also mean a change in the environment – workplace, place of residence, partner, essential habits. You can also read books and try to think better, but the combined effect of this kind of belief and the environment is so significant that permanent change with naked thinking is not very likely.

Effort alone does not increase self-confidence.
And by the way, one pretty important thing yet. “The most important thing is to make an effort, then you will achieve,” is not too good advice for growing self-confidence. Effort alone does not boost confidence. Yes, knowing must acknowledge the action, but only the effort that is a step closer to success, to result. Feeling successful is what builds confidence.


Fifteen reasons to pursue your dreams- if you are afraid. Part 3

Fifteen reasons to pursue your dreams- if you are afraid.

Part 3


Especially those who tell you, “Don’t bother!”. There is no word like “bother.” It is available in our language and is still very actively used in many languages.

The mind is a factory of thoughts. It produces new ideas at any moment, some of which are useful, but the vast majority are repetitive and insignificant. Our choice is what and how much we believe in our thoughts.

Thinking is the same technique as sleeping. You sleep so that your body can rest. You are thinking of finding a solution to the situation. While you wake up in the morning, you get to one side by sleep. But when you stop thinking, you have a new idea in 2 seconds. We can’t get peace from them, and we believe all our thoughts.

Imagine that you cannot control sleep in the same way that you cannot control thinking. You try to wake up all the time, but as your attention distracts, you are asleep again. What would it be like in your life then? Just the way most people are. They live their whole lives in their heads and minds, not noticing that real life takes place outside.

Notice your thoughts and try to map them in some way. You may notice how most thoughts are repetitive and tell you the same thing all the time. If there is a problem in your life, your thoughts will always tell you about the situation. But has thinking ever solved any of your problems? Hardly because issues are solved by action, not thinking. Yes, it is necessary to believe, but it is essential to think constructively. And once we think about it, we may not think about it anymore. Then it’s time to act in the real world.

The most dangerous are the thoughts that tell us, “We can’t do it,” “We’re not good enough,” or “Don’t bother.” These are destructive and sabotaging patterns of thought that keep us from acting. And if we do not work, we will never fulfill our dreams.

Thoughts are and will remain. We can’t turn off our thinking, but we can notice them and pay less attention to them. Let those thoughts be, don’t just believe all your ideas.


Thoughts are not the only phenomena that exist within us and guide us. In addition to thoughts, there are three more groups of inner world objects that affect us daily. Until we can notice them and give meaning to them, we are automatically their slaves.

The objects of this inner world are beliefs, habits, and emotional reactions.

Beliefs and habits have already occurred discussed above. These are the subconscious and recorded programs that guide us. If we design them for our good, everything is fine. However, as long as beliefs and habits conflict with our dreams, we always try to fight 96-98 percent subconscious with 2-4 percent of potential. That is a hopeless struggle between David and Goliath.

The first step to turn the situation to your advantage, the first step is to notice or become aware. Until you know you have conflicting beliefs and habits, you can’t change them. However, if you see them and consciously replace them with new ones, they will eventually develop into subconscious programs to help you move forward.

Different people and different life events create other emotions inside us. Psychologists say that a person has about 300 emotions that motivate him to act. When something good happens in our lives, we respond with positive emotion. However, if something is objectionable to us, we are stingy and do not forbid others to experience it.

It is the moments when life goes against our expectations that are critical to self-development and the fulfillment of dreams. Years of research by researchers have shown that the most successful are the most consistent people. Consistency means that a person remains purposeful in all life situations – even those where things do not go in his favor. These are the moments when a person uses his or her emotional intelligence, becomes aware of his or her emotion, and acts adequately independently of emotion.

If someone did something you didn’t like, our usual automatic reaction is resentment. However, resentment can cost our dreams dearly in certain situations. It is helpful to notice at the right moment how anger arises in us, but not to show it, but to get rid of it. When you find out, you become emotionally intelligent.


Life is full of activities we don’t like. It’s the same with dreams. Not all activities that are necessary to make your dreams come true can be intense and inspiring. Sometimes you need to do things that seem annoying and pointless. In this situation, meaningful activities help.

Start your work, for example. Do you love your job? What do you like about your job? Is there anything at all that you experience, or is everything repulsive to you?

Even if you find everything reluctant at first glance, don’t rush to change jobs. Research shows that people who do not know how to make sense of their current job do not know how to do it in other occupations. They always hope that there is a dream job somewhere, all the enjoyable tasks, and never create a routine. That is an illusion. Even watching TV and walking around with friends becomes disgustingly annoying at some point. Therefore, it makes sense to use another solution – meaningful activities.

What do you mean when you do activities you don’t enjoy? Do you think about how disgusting this activity is, or can you pay attention to the broader aspects that are affected by your action?

Start making sense of your actions with a simple arrow exercise. Take A4 paper and write an activity or task in the upper left corner that seems pointless to you. Now draw a small arrow to the right of it and write down why you are doing it. For example, if you don’t like ironing, type:

Ironing => Shirt gets ironed => I look right at work => I look reliable to clients and employers => I get better results => I make more money / I get more recognition => I go to Thailand => I’m relaxed, smiling, and happy.

Do you notice how ironing makes a direct contribution to keeping you rested, smiling, and happy?

Too frequently, we focus too narrowly on our activities. It may seem that bosses are teasing us with silly tasks, and we have many more important things to do. No, it’s not like that. It is not usually a question of action but of our interpretation of action. If you can give the correct meaning to the activity, each task can have meaningful value for you.

Map your daily activities and give meaning to everyone. It gives you inspiration and energy to deal with them and keeps you on track with your dreams.



Laziness is the death of dreams. However, we all struggle with it from time to time.

Sometimes it seems that there is no way to get up and start dealing with the matter. Although we know it needs to do done, and we know it will bring us closer to fulfilling our dreams, we still find a hundred excuses for not doing so.

When we start with new things, we remain driven by inspiration – we want to deal with it right away. After a while, however, it is necessary to introduce a new tool – motivation. Motivation means acting in moments when there is no inspiration.

But there is a tiny step from motivation to inspiration. Quite often, it happens that shortly after we start acting through self-compulsion, inspiration re-ignites in us, and everything falls back on. We only need a small amount of creating energy to get started, and everything moves on more quickly.

It is essential to be able to start. If we can’t do that, we can fall asleep all our lives. We are tired; our friends come to visit, we watch something exciting on TV. Well, listen. That way, you can’t get closer to your dreams.

One study showed that human start-up energy is equivalent to 20 seconds. That means that if we want to do something that we don’t usually bother to do, we should organize things to take us less than 20 seconds to do it.

For example, you desire to start running, but you find several reasons not to go every time you get home. The 20-second rule says that if you had your running clothes ready on the couch (one study participant went so far as to go to bed with tracksuits in the evening), and it would take about 20 seconds to pull them back, it would be much easier to get your workout. You have to cross that “don’t bother” threshold, and if that threshold is lower than 20 seconds, it seems easy to us.

The same is true of the current article. It’s a pretty long article, and I postponed it for a long time to get started. Even after I wrote the first part, I still found something “more important” to do than to rewrite this article. In the end, I did so to keep this article open all the time. Every time I opened my computer, this article was ready. I just paused and started writing. Now I’m done.

Starting tasks (exceptionally inconvenient and strenuous) is the most critical start. If you can exceed your starting threshold, your productivity will increase significantly.


Some people are just cowards. They dare not do anything new and exciting because they are afraid that nothing will come of it. And so they live their whole lives, fearing, worrying, and at the same time dissatisfied because things are not as they would like.

We always lose only two things: money and pride. If our goals are economical, we can lose money. Maybe we have saved some time, and now we are afraid of losing it. Yes, that is justified, but if you are not ready to invest your money in a project, you do not believe in that project. But if you don’t believe in your project, nothing will come of it anyway. This project has already failed.

Second, money is flowing. If money stays in place, it is worthless – it simply loses its value. Otherwise, money would not be called currency in English, which can also do derived from the word current. Yes, money must flow. You have to be able to make money, but in the right moments, you have to be ready to leave it for you so that he can come back again.

If we lose money through some projects, then yes, we will lose money, but we will be richer inexperienced. Experience is worth much more than money. You can’t take money to where we all go one day. However, you can let your experiences and memories pass through your head at the last second before leaving.

Experience increases your value. Every failed project gives you knowledge of how you can’t do it. No one can be born a genius – we learn to be geniuses. However, learning takes place most effectively through losses and failures. How many would successful people in the world never fail? I would even venture to ask, how many are successful who would not have repeatedly failed in the early years? Remember, our most crucial success factor is consistency. Those who recover the fastest from their losses and put the experience back into practice will win.

You can lose money, but you can always make money back. Money is not easy to come from anywhere. Making money is always about you and your skills. And if you once knew how to make money, you will learn how to do it in the future. So don’t be hesitant to invest money in your dreams.

In addition to money, we can lose our pride, which is even stupider. However, money is something measurable and concrete. But what is satisfaction? It’s just an idea of ​​yourself. But the idea is so “big” that it prevents many people from making a difference in their lives because they are afraid of what other people think of it.

Here is your life. And here are your rules. If you are 85 years old one day, which one interests you more, is what other people thought of you 35 years ago, or that you made the changes that made you happy?

It is regularly better to regret what you did, not what you did not do. We do things with inspiration, creativity, and courage. Sometimes we win, other times we lose. But at least we do and try to enjoy life, live it to the fullest, and be happy. Yes, maybe some things will go to think about doing something different later, but we can always say that we just lacked experience. We did it for good purposes, and we have no point in regretting or blaming ourselves.

But if we fail to do things for fear that we will regret it later, we will live our lives in vain and meaninglessly. We may have brilliant ideas, but we do not dare to realize them because we do not know exactly how things are going.

No one ever knows how everything will go. That is the charm of life. When driving in the dark, we can see no further than 100 meters, but that does not mean that we leave the car on the road and wait terribly for the morning. No, we trust that we can drive in the dark and keep going. The same attitude could be alive.

When I have dreams, I do my best to make those dreams come true. It is not necessary to stress too much and worry all the time if and how they do still fulfilled, but to let yourself be guided and act bravely but calmly at the moment. Sometimes fears arise, but fears are there to overcome them. We only have this life, and our choice is how we live this life. Do we boldly and strive for dreams, or regretfully and in old age, why did we let other people live all our lives?


Thank you for reading this article. All the thoughts in it last used in my own daily life have helped me a lot. Yes, they are not unique ones, but they are practical and proven.

I want you to be happy. If you don’t know how to be satisfied yet, I wish you weren’t at least unhappy. Too many people live their lives unhappily – they don’t dare to act. I hope you weren’t one of them. And that’s why I wrote this article.

Read inspirational books

Bookstores and libraries are full of exciting, inspiring, and motivating books. They help us. If you sometimes feel that you lack courage, skill, and inspiration, don’t hesitate to draw from the books.

Communicate with inspiring people

Find people in your circle who also want to do something fierce and powerful. Avoid those people and friends who “drag you down” and exhaust you all the time. Yes, people have to help, but people can only be allowed to help themselves. The best way to help a friend in trouble is to brainstorm and figure out how he or she can resolve the situation through courage. One way is to recommend the article above to him.

Reflect on your achievements so far

You’re already good. Even if you don’t believe it, many people around you admire you. Believe them more. You’re good, and you can do it. Take your time and respect and praise yourself. Remember both small and large moments when you did something you were happy. And be prepared! You will soon be even more surprised by the fulfillment of your future activities and dreams.



Fifteen reasons to pursue your dreams- if you are afraid. Part 2

Fifteen reasons to pursue your dreams-

 if you are afraid. Part 2


Simply put, the subconscious mind makes up 96-98 percent of our entire brain. Conscious consciousness, on the other hand, is only 2-4 percent. So if you don’t understand how to use the subconscious from your toolbox, you’ll only use 2-4 percent of your actual ability. Can you imagine how high a space rocket will reach if only 2-4% of its real engine power does use at launch? It doesn’t even go out of place.

The subconscious is where our beliefs and habits are stored and where the fundamental subconscious mechanisms, the Reticular Activation System (RAS) and the Psychocybernetic Mechanism (PKM), are located.

Reticular Activation System (RAS)

RAS is a unit in our brain that filters information received from the outside. Through the eyes, ears, and other perceptual senses, our subconscious receives 400 billion bits of information every second, of which we become aware of only 2,000 bits. Thus, RAS filters out 99.99999% of the information that exists in the world around us.

Because the amount of information that does screen is so large, it is in our interest that the information related to our dreams remains in our minds. Otherwise, we would “sleep asleep” all the possibilities to make our dreams come true. It is, therefore, necessary to guarantee that the RAS works for us, not against us. For this to happen, it is essential to tell the RAS what information to keep and what to filter out. How to do it?

RAS acts based on information already in the brain – our existing beliefs. What a person believes in should be what he wants to experience. Logical, right? What is illogical, however, is that the vast majority of people believe in what they do not like to share: people seek happiness but believe that they do destine to be unhappy; they want wealth but are always afraid of going bankrupt; they honestly dream of love but feel lonely all the time.

RAS is like a Google search engine – when you want information about something, you enter the relevant search term into Google. Google brings you the most pertinent information about that keyword. RAS does the same – for him, the search term is your subconscious beliefs, the closest world he will shape to you.

It is precisely ignorance of the RAS work that is one of the most important reasons why many dreams remain only on paper. People want to carry them out on a conscious level, but they believe that this is not possible on a subconscious level.

Psychocybernetic mechanism (PKM)

Another fundamental subconscious mechanism is the psychocybernetic mechanism or PKM. If RAS shapes a world for you that matches your beliefs, PKM will hold you in a world that fits your ideas.

PKM aims to keep you alive through a safe comfort zone. Everything familiar and comfortable for you is safe for you. At least that’s how PKM “thinks.”

If you walk on the highway and PKM detects that you are too close to the road for the car driving towards you, it will automatically send you a danger signal, and you will jump aside. You will survive. Thanks, PKM!

However, he does the same even if your life is not in danger, but you are just thinking or doing something outside your comfort zone, i.e., your current beliefs. That’s why thoughts of new projects, new relationships, and a new training plan seem scary at first. You just aren’t used to it. Not yet.

Even if your current relationship doesn’t satisfy you, it’s at least familiar and secure. You can’t change that. Even if you hate your job, it’s at least friendly and safe. You can’t change that. And even if you’ve been overweight for years, you’re familiar and safe. You can’t change that.
PKM’s job is to keep you safe and familiar. Any attempt to change something in your life triggers PKM and sends you signals of danger that you perceive as anxiety and caution. As it is a very uncomfortable feeling, you will return to a comfortable and safe state.

There are two ways to get PKM to work for you. The first, and this is a more painful way, is to continue to believe in what you don’t want to achieve and to ascetically perceive these emotions of anxiety and caution at all times. Maybe not to change your beliefs and thus not to change your life.

Another way is to change your subconscious beliefs. By aligning your thoughts with your dreams, PKM will also work to keep you up to date until you make your dreams come true.


In the previous point, you learned how important it is to notice what beliefs you have and to change them if necessary. As important as our beliefs are our habits.


Beliefs, or worldviews, are the subconscious programs that guide us. We have a belief in every phenomenon we have ever encountered.

The easiest way to identify your beliefs is to look at the world around you. What do you believe about love and relationships? What do you think about making money and making money? What do you think about politics and society? What do you think of our weather? What do you think, what do you think, what do you think…? All of these opinions reflect your beliefs.

Beliefs arise and develop over a very long period. The adult human brain does the makeup of about 100 billion brain cells that connect to form the brain’s neural structure. Every thought, every experience, and opinion about something reflect one or more neuronal connections between brain cells. Together, all such neuronal connections form the structure of your beliefs.

Until the early 1990s, neuroscientists believed that by the time a person became an adult, their brain and belief system would be fully developed and could no longer be changed. If that held the case, each of us could hide behind an excuse. “But I’m just such a person, and I can’t change myself.”

Today, however, the neuroplasticity of the brain, or the brain’s ability to change throughout a person’s lifetime, has been confirmed. That means that whatever our beliefs have become today, we can change them ourselves if we wish.

Beliefs change through repetition. If you have believed for ten years that you cannot do anything, you have developed that belief. You’ve just made the neural connection in your brain so strong that it shows up every time you start working on something new.

If you want to change this belief, you must consciously replace it with a new one. For example, “I can handle it.” Now, every time you notice that you do haunt by an old way of thinking (“I can’t handle it”), you affirm, “Yes, I can handle it.” Doing this will strengthen a new positive neural connection and belief each time and weaken the old one. Over time, the old will be replaced by the unknown, affecting all your actions and thinking. It sounds primitive, but that’s how our brains work.

Beliefs are the basis of all our thinking and action. When you believe in something, it gives you the strength to move in that direction. Imagine that you are planning to start a new exciting project at work. What is your belief in this project and yourself? Do you believe that this project will be successful? Or are you skeptical?

If you are skeptical, this is where your potential comes from you. If you do not believe that this project will be successful, it will also lower your project’s potential for success. When the potential is low, weak action stems. If you do not strive to the full potential, the level of activity cannot be masterful. If your efforts are not masterful, what will be the results? Weak too, right? And if the results are unsatisfactory, it confirms your belief that you can’t do that.

It can do called a vicious circle that feeds itself. However, it is essential to realize that this vicious circle begins with your own beliefs, leading to low potential and consequent underaction and poor results. To be in line with your true potential, you need to start by changing your thoughts.


Your habits are just as crucial as your beliefs. Patterns are subconsciously stored solutions to certain situations.

Imagine that you should learn to swim again every time you fall into the water. Or it would be best if you learned to drive again every time you go. Annoying, right? To prevent this, the subconscious shapes habits.

We have habits for every area of ​​life – waking habits, talking habits, eating habits, Facebook browsing habits, work habits, etc. All activities are related to some practice.

Habits directly determine what results we achieve. Albert Einstein has said an exciting definition of a foolish person: “A fool is a person who does the same things all the time but expects different results.” Completely elementary, but we often forget this simple truth.

If you are currently in a situation with your life that does not satisfy you, follow your habits for the last three years and notice what practices have caused your current problem. If you want to change this situation, you also need to change certain types of habits. If you are not ready for this, you cannot expect different results after three years. If you did, Albert Einstein would call you a stupid person.

Habits develop in us in the same way as beliefs – they are stored neural connections. That is why we can change practices in the same way as beliefs. You have to find self-discipline and start with small steps. The first 30 days are critical in changing habits. If you can use the new pattern of that time, you can continue to do so.


Several people never think about their goals and dreams. When you ask them what you want out of your life, they answer, “Better life!”. Is it enough?

However, it is not very good if you have too many dreams. In this case, you lose focus, and scattered activities do not lead to realizing any dream. It is essential to find a middle ground.

The end of the year is usually the time when people set goals for the new year. At this point, it seems the person that New Year is like an excellent opportunity to “restart” your life and start all over again. It is with “everything” that this is the biggest stumbling block.

If people chose one goal for the new year, the probability of its realization would be significantly higher. Usually, however, all areas of life are undertaken at once, and then they try to fix everything in the next two months – they start to be vegetarian, start running 5 km a day, wake up 1 hour earlier, and so on. No one can cope with such a drastic change.

We only have the moment to move towards our goals. And the current moment is too short to deal with all the goals at once. At the moment, we only have time to pursue one dream at a time. Therefore, there is no point in trying to do too many things at once.

Don’t be driven by your long and dragging list of goals, but driven by the present moment. That’s all you have. Choose one area of ​​life for yourself in which you want to make a change and focus on that change entirely. The first 30 days are the most difficult because it is time to develop new habits and beliefs. If you resist this time, life will become easier. You may not have relinquished your goal yet, but you can put the subconscious to work for you in that time.


The ability to concentrate is the most fundamental skill in our lives, the non-use of which has caused a great deal of confusion. For the next 60 seconds, attempt to focus on the pencil lying on the table in front of you. Take all your attention to the pen and empty your head of everything else. Start!

How did you do that? I’m more than sure not very well. But don’t worry – you’re no exception. In the same way, I can’t clear my mind, and so nither most other people. There are very few people in the world with the absolute ability to concentrate, and only years of training lead to this.

Low ability to concentrate creates situations we do not act in the present moment but “walk” all the time in our thoughts about the future or the past. Researchers say that a person has an average of 50,000 views a day. Then try to deal with all these thoughts.

Reading a book is a good confirmation of low concentration. Have you noticed how you read 2-3 pages of a book and then discover that you don’t remember anything about it? That was precise because of his low ability to concentrate – an idea distracted you from the book, and you were gone.

Reading a book is a safe and straightforward example. However, it becomes dangerous in situations where it is necessary to focus on one activity always to fulfill dreams constantly. Uncomfortable, however, if we cannot cope with our thoughts on the future and the past.
For example, something happened in the past that gives us reason to believe that we will not achieve this goal. Our personal choice is to think and spin that idea or focus on current activities to complete the task on time. When our ability to concentrate is low, we believe in our experience and can give up the present moment. However, if we can draw our attention enough, we will let go of these meaningless thoughts and return to the necessary action.

Life is happening now. The past and the future exist through thoughts only in our heads. They don’t exist. All that exists is the present moment. At this moment, thinking, planning, and acting towards your dream take place. Use the present moment because it is the only moment you have.


Some dreams take longer than others. Sometimes, when plans don’t come true quickly, we replace the satisfaction of fulfilling them with fleeting pleasures.

Imagine you want to lose 5 kg. How to make it happen? You need to monitor your menu and do a workout. Sounds easy, right? However, this can be a real challenge in practice, especially when choosing between momentary enjoyment and future satisfaction.

We do face a choice at every meal: whether we get momentary enjoyment from a good diet or long-term happiness from good health. Most people choose the first – they eat their stomachs full and better, and later they regret that they ate so much.

But you can approach it differently. Standing at the table, ask yourself, “Which is more important to me? Is it a taste pleasure from eating 5 minutes of laziness or a long-term pleasure from being good weight and beautiful?”. This approach awakens your self-awareness. You no longer automatically identify with your desire to taste experience but make a conscious decision as a true homo sapiens. A similar process works for all your dreams.
Which do you prefer, momentary pleasure in front TV or the long-term pleasure, if you go to the training at the moment and feel very good after the workout and also in the future?

Ask this question about all your dreams and activities and see which answer you choose.

I will continue the article next week.


Fifteen reasons to pursue your dreams- if you are afraid.

Fifteen reasons to pursue your dreams- if you are afraid.


When you start something new, you do inspire by inspiration. When you get into a routine (and you get there anyway), motivation helps you. To make your dreams come true, you need both.

Inspiration is the starting energy of dreams. It is the “force” that gives us the idea and the “power” that helps us overcome the primary question of resistance, “Is it still worth the effort?”. That is the question we always encounter when we launch something new. We need to be sure that, firstly, we can make a dream come true, and secondly, the emotion that comes with fulfilling a goal is worth the effort.

We have limited opportunities to lead inspiration. We can settle into an inspiring environment and interact with the people who inspire us, but if the “spirit” still does not come, we will not make a dream come true. Motivation means acting in moments when we lack inspiration. If inspiration is essentially an unmanageable inner quality, then the reason is entirely under our control. Often, lack of motivation is related to our thinking and emotions, which we identify with; it just “seems” that this is not the best time to do something.

Whether it’s a dream to lose weight, start a new business project or do something great at work, we are prisoners of our condition. They dictate to us whether or not we should deal with this task at the moment, and if the answer is ‘no,’ we believe the point and strike.


The purpose of this article is to give with you 15 reasons and behaviors that demoralize us and prevent us from moving toward dreams. These are “motivation-killers” that guide us automatically but lose their power quickly if you learn to notice them.

Many people want a better life, but that is not enough. It’s just not enough to sometimes tell yourself that you’re not happy with your life. Firstly, in this case, you always assert yourself of how bad a life you are, and secondly, you are not even trying to figure out what and how could improve your situation.

If you don’t know what you want, you can’t get inspired, and it’s hard to motivate yourself. Just sitting and dreaming that things could be better doesn’t trigger the emotional impulses that make you act. But these impulses are the key to inspiration and motivation.

For example, imagine that you have to iron 100 shirts every night. How does this idea affect you? Do you feel inspired? How would you motivate yourself to do that?

Now try to think about how you will go on holiday to Thailand in 2 weeks, and you need to put together an exciting travel route. Is the emotion in you the same in both examples? That isn’t an intellectual game I’m playing with you right now. Look inside yourself and notice what conditions these examples create in you. Which one inspires you more? Which would make it straightforward for you to find motivation?

One of the main reasons for not fulfilling our dreams is precisely a lack of understanding of what we want. However, this does not mean that many so-called success coaches recommend that you write all your 1000 goals down to the last detail. Here is an extreme that will not help you either. But what helps you is a simple understanding of what kind of change you would like to make in life. Keep it realistic. There is no time in calling yourself a millionaire if you do not know how to pay the bills next month. And there is no point in imagining yourself as a laundry model if you have been eating pastries for the last two years, and your stomach and thighs are therefore uncomfortably enlarged.

Stay realistic. Don’t describe big and unrealistic visions that are more stressful to you because you have no idea how to implement them. Replace these big and “fat” goals with specific and straightforward activity-based goals that let you know precisely how to get results in small steps. Don’t tell yourself I’m a millionaire in 6 months, but aim for 10% more effort this month. You can do it. And don’t take the dream of losing 15 kg in 3 months, but think about how you can eat less and healthier the next meal, and start exercising three times a week (here too, start with minimal steps).

Take your time and think calmly about what you want. Write down your real dreams and add a realistic action plan to each objective. Don’t try to achieve all this in 1 month, but make the process inspiring and motivating for you. All the goals we set should inspire and motivate us today, not just to achieve that goal. No one can ever guarantee us that you will complete our plans. There is no way we can control the fulfillment of purposes. We can only control the progress towards goals – right now through our thoughts, words, and actions. However, if we sacrifice today for future accomplishments, we will offer our entire lives.

Life takes place now – the future with achieved (or unattained) goals exists only in our heads through thoughts. You want to live your life in your mind without paying attention to what is happening now and actually? Not, don’t be dazzled by the grand visions of the future and the pleasures, fame, and success that come with it. It’s all an illusion that may or may not happen. What is clear, however, is that the present moment is real. There is no doubt about that.

Figure out what kind of life you would like to live and stay realistic. Start with small steps and take the first step.

When you come up with what you want, you may fear that you don’t deserve it and can’t handle it. That is called low self-esteem.

How do you know you don’t deserve it? How do you know you can’t handle it? The previous paragraph talked about the fact that the future is entirely out of our control. We cannot control the future – we can only control the present.

Even if, given the present moment, you may feel that you cannot handle it, you will remain supported by your inner self-confidence, inspiration, and motivation. Things sometimes happen and resolve in the strangest of ways. I believe that there have been situations in your own life when people who help you in a case quickly come into your life. Or you have stumbled upon an article or book that has clarified your confusion. Or you just got a super good idea while walking in the woods, which solves a momentary obstacle and helps you move forward. Such things happen—all the time.

When driving in the dark, we cannot see more than 100 meters. However, we know that there is still a paved road above it, and we will arrive safely. We can take the same attitude towards our dreams. Once you’ve chosen realistic goals that you see as a way to go when things are going “right,” you have to confidently believe that there’s “asphalt” you can’t see yet. Take the first step, depress the accelerator pedal, and you’ll see road markings coming out of the curve to guide you forward.

But for that to arrive, you have to believe in yourself. You may not have all the internal and external resources, not yet, but you must have the conviction within you that it is feasible and you can do it. That is why it is essential to choose realistic dreams, not something absurd. When you set unreasonable goals for yourself and hope for miracles, you give up responsibility, and you rely on something you can’t control. You give up duty at the moment when you should use your intellect, inspiration, intuition, and motivation, but you choose not to do so because you can’t suggest any natural way for you to move towards the goal at all.

That is one of the biggest pitfalls when people return from success seminars, where they have set a goal to repay a bank loan of 100,000 euros a year or increase their income 50 times in 3 months. A person comes home and is alone with his absurd goals. He no longer has a supportive “guru” to reassure him all the time without ever suggesting how it is possible. So he sits in front of his workbook, looks at his absurd dreams, and returns to his daily life. He doesn’t know how to take the first step. He does not understand how to move towards goals, let alone achieve them.

If you are realistic with your goals, you can work with your self-esteem. No matter what you decide to achieve, ask yourself, “Can I do 10% better this month than I’ve done so far?” Maybe it’s related to diet – can I eat 10% fewer sweets this month? Yes, of course, you can. Can I give myself 10% more physical exercise? Yes, of course, you can. It can also be business – can I make an effort to sell 10% more this month? Yes, sure. As a waiter, can I smile 10% more this month? Can I forgive 10% more people this month? Can I wake up 10% earlier this month? Can I spend 10% less this month to save for next year’s vacation?

Here is the 10% rule, and it always works. It is realistic, inspiring, and motivating. When you apply it to an area that works for you, you will feel from day one that you can make your dream come true. Yes, maybe not in 3 days or three months, as many “target kings” have promised you before, but you can be sure that you are moving in the right direction. You see tangible results, and feedback gives you new inspiration and motivation all the time.

If you get real experience in the first three months that you are moving towards a dream, it will give you more confidence. If you thought you couldn’t do something in the past, now you see that it entirely not true. You have real experience to show yourself, and you don’t have to put too much effort into it (10% a month is not too much to ask for). Your self-confidence grows progressively as your mind constantly produces new images of where such small-scale but realistic targeting can lead. You will learn to enjoy the process in the process, not just talk about it in a philosophical context in societies.

Self-esteem is related to your results so far. Because you didn’t know what you wanted at all before, and you haven’t taken any steps to do so, or you did, but those dreams have been unrealistic and therefore repeatedly missed, it has all led to your low self-esteem. But this is not final. When you approach your goals with the “10% rule”, you will learn to appreciate yourself again, and over time your whole life will become better.

Of course, it is sometimes helpful to listen to friends and companions, but there is a limit somewhere. That is your life, not theirs. And you are subject to your own life, not them. If you live your life the way you are advised and directed, you will regret it when you are 80 years old. In that case, you just put your dreams in the background, and you believe that other people know better what is good for you. How could they find out?

We are social beings and belong to social networks, but we can rise above those networks when necessary. It does know that similar people are attracted. So you are surrounded by people who are like you and ready for similar actions. If you have lived your life conservatively and timidly so far, so have your friends. And now that you fixed for change, they may not be ready for it. That’s why they start pulling you back down from inertia at first glance, telling you how crazy ideas you have and how you can’t handle them.

It’s all bullshit. Once you have written down your realistic dreams and goals as described above, you will surely be able to achieve them. You must stand on your own two feet and push the backs of all the setbacks and the setbacks. Peace.

In America, a survey was conducted among the 500 most successful business leaders to understand the formula for real success. The study organizers hoped to discover the panacea for success to live boldly offered to all young people. However, the surprise was great for them when it turned out that there was no miracle cure. Not all of these people were talented, brilliant, and super beautiful. On the contrary, they were completely ordinary people we would not even know on the streets. But what was the common feature of all of them? Consistency.

Consistency is the only sure formula for success. You can realize no dream without setbacks. That is an illusion. All those books that say the opposite will make you foggy. Find one successful person who will tell you that success came quickly for him. You can’t find a person like that. Yes, the ones you can see are authors who write about success and promise you that you will quickly achieve your goals by using their success formulas. Why? Because they want you to buy books full of their recipes for success. However, if we look for a person in real life who would have done something truly remarkable without work and effort, we will always have empty hands.

Don’t listen and believe no one else. In fact, the less you listen to me, the better. Stick to yourself and your inner feeling. If you dream of something, and it’s not absurd, stick to it. Small steps can eventually lead you to even the fulfillment of wild dreams.

Avoid the company of miserable people when life is complicated and try to infect you with their cynical attitude to life. Just turn your back on them. Rather than be alone in the company of such people, because taking them in the same room for a long time is a definite doom for you and your dreams.

As I have already mentioned, only consistent action and discipline will succeed.

Our minds are very cunning. When we start working on something, it inspires us to how beautiful and lovely everything is. We understand in ourselves and know we can do it. But we may soon have doubts. We are tired of our initial enthusiasm, and if the results do not show up overnight, we will start to want to give up.

That is dangerous. Very dangerous. Early giving up is a sure way to turn your life around. It would help if you were disciplined and consistent, not lazy and comfortable. Yes, life is not an army, but no one has ever won a war without military discipline.

Watch the athletes. See how they work for their results. Their tremendous dedication and discipline will bring them the results they dream of you. Athletes perform the same activities day in, day out, month to month, and year to year to get their mind, mind, and body in sync with purpose. And the result is a triumph. Victory overall. Even about yourself.

However, if you choose the other end of the scale – you do a lot of work, but you are always afraid that you will not be able to do it, and you will never succeed.anyway – you will rush empty. You’re like a squirrel on a wheel that doesn’t go a step further.

Attitude means acting in the right vibration. It means believing in yourself and the rightness of your actions. No matter what others think of your plans, it would help if you believed in them yourself. If you succeed. you will one day be there.

The right attitude starts with thinking. However, it only starts thinking because, over time, your review means transferred to your beliefs, through which you involve the subconscious in your actions. And if the subconscious is already working towards its goals, you have turned 100% of your potential. It is a force for shaping attitudes.

At this point, I will leave the article open, and I will continue writing next week.